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Let the 2014 Squirrel Wars begin!!!

Lorissa Soriano author photo

By Lorissa Soriano
03/19/14 -- Modoc County is gearing up for another year of “Squirrel Wars!” This has been an ongoing battle for years. This year in particular we anticipate more terrorist squirrel activity due to the current drought conditions.

The Special Ops Department of Squirrel Eradicators (D.O.S.E.) in partnership with the Reconnaissance Division of Varmint Hunters (D.O.V.H.) stationed in Modoc County is currently looking for veteran squirrel hunters, fast shooters and new recruits to join them as they prepare to do battle with rogue Spermophilus terrorist organizations who have been threatening to destroy farm and ranch lands throughout the County.

The D.O.S.E. and the D.O.V.H. are both anti-Spermophilus organizations. These special groups train all year, practicing secret maneuvers and covert operations. They continuously hone in their skills by sighting in their rifles. They are steadfast when it comes to stocking up on ammo, where ever they can find it. All in preparation to do battle with, “Al Beldingi Spermophilus” or more commonly known as the ground squirrel.

2 men and Lorrisa Soriano rifle hunting for squirrels,

The “Al Beldingi” is a militant Spermophilus terrorist organization. This organization’s primary goal is to wreak havoc on unsuspecting farmers and ranchers, Not only in Modoc, but throughout northeastern California, causing mass destruction and annihilation to acres of crops where ever they go.

These terrorist groups hide underground staying off the grid during the winter months. During this period of subterranean activity, terrorist groups undergo training, develop plans of mass destruction and conspire to desecrate public and private agricultural lands all over the region.

When springtime arrives, numerous radical Spermoplilus movements begin to organize their troops and start infiltrating farmlands and ranches from their subterranean strongholds.

Characteristic militant techniques include suicide attacks, burrow booby traps and simultaneous dirt clod bombings of different targets.

Currently the weather in Modoc County has been warmer than usual for this time of year. Most of the grounds are already thawed out and dry. Prompting those furry little terrorist creatures to come out of their underground fortresses and begin their invasion earlier than normal. This has caught many of the farmers and ranchers off guard. However Special Ops Squirrel Eradicators and Recon Varmint Hunters here are savvy to their plans and are ready to retaliate. Their mission is to destroy these terrorist cells where ever they exist. Let the Squirrel Wars begin! Free Squirrel hunt passes are available at Alturas Ranches if you wish to hunt on their property.

The 24th Annual Surprise Valley Squirrel Round-up, will take place Saturday March 22, 2014 at the Modoc County Fairgrounds in Cedarville, California. Hunters are responsible to secure a place to hunt. If you make arrangements to hunt and are unable to make it, please call your host to cancel. Reservations are required for all entries. Entries are limited to 100. The cost per entry is $55.00. This includes: Barbeque, No Host Bar, Round-up Hat, Door Prize ticket. There will be a gun raffle and special gun raffle. Tickets can be purchased in advance. Send your funds with your entry and your gun raffle tickets will be held at the door, $5 each or 5 tickets for $20. The Squirrel Round-up Banquet will begin at 4:30 p.m.

Monies raised will go towards a donation to the Surprise Valley Chamber of Commerce. NO REFUNDS. Click for entry form. For more information go to the Surprise Valley Chamber website,

Squirrel Hunting on Private Property
Safety and Responsibility are Critical! Last year there was a shooting incident where a squirrel hunter’s bullet went through a sliding glass door, ending up in a wall, just feet from where the resident was sitting. This near miss frightened us all and prompted a discussion about how we can help make squirrel hunting safer for everyone. To try and prevent any accidents or potential tragedies the Surprise valley Chamber have put together suggestions for hunters and landowners, in hopes that squirrel hunting will be safer and remain beneficial for all.

Some basic suggestions for hunters when asking a landowner for permission to hunt:

• Engage the landowner directly (in person) and ask permission. Let the landowner know how many will be in the hunting party.

• The hunter should present his hunting license as proof he has been trained on hunter safety (you cannot obtain a California hunting license without first passing a hunter safety course.)

• According to California Fish and Wildlife, hunters must have dated written permission to access any private property.

• Hunter should give description of his vehicle(s) and tell landowner what days and times he would like to hunt.

• Collect your brass, other than rim fire.

Recommendations for the Landowner:
• By meeting the hunter, the landowner can determine the intent of the hunter and make the decision to grant or deny permission.

• Landowner should verify hunter has valid hunting license.

• According to California Fish and Wildlife, hunters must have dated written permission to access any private property.

• Landowner should point out the exact location of the fields that can be hunted, and safe direction of fire (making hunter aware of homes, cattle, roads, equipment, etc.)

• Landowner should make the hunter aware that damage to wheel lines or other property is hunter’s responsibility and that safety is of the utmost importance.

• Landowner should recommend hunter use expanding or varmint grade bullets on all center fire ammo.

10 Rules for Firearm Safety:
1. Keep muzzle pointed in safe direction

2. Treat every firearm as if it were loaded

3. Be sure of your target, and what’s in front and beyond

4. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to fire

5. Check the barrel for obstructions

6. Keep the action open

7. Only point the muzzle at something when you intend to take a shot

8. Unload before jumping, running, or climbing

9. Always store firearms separately and securely, away from both children, careless adults and animals.

10. Never consume alcohol before or while you handle firearms. Avoid legal and illegal drugs that can alter your behavior and mental status.

Helpful sites: • To take hunter safety course on-line: • To study hunter safety: • Regulations: • Waiver:

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